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16 Things I Wish I’d Known at 16
an open letter from grandmother to granddaughter
Hello there, self of 1975:
1. You are lucky to be here. Sure, you’ve been through some sad stuff already. Money’s scarce. Your parents have a lot of flaws, but they love you. Not always the way you want them to. They’ll never be exactly who you want them to be. But you will find this is true of everyone you care about. Everyone. At every stage of your life. There is no perfect love. There are no perfect people.
2. Gossiping and criticizing others (in your head or out loud) is a waste of time. The worst thing is that criticism grows inward — you will become hypercritical of yourself, creating more damage than others’ gossip could ever do. Stop it as soon as possible.
3. Replace criticism (and condemnation) with curiosity. Don’t assume malicious motives or feelings. Ask more questions of others and of yourself. Curiosity leads to more information, understanding, and creative ways to solve issues.
4. Life is not a competition, despite what you’re told. The more you focus on what you are drawn to, what makes your mind explode with happiness, excitement, interest, or wonder, the less you will worry about what others think or how good you are in comparison to them. Oscar Wilde said, Be yourself. Everyone else is…
